A man missed his wife who travelled so much that he felt the matrimonial bed was to big for just him..and he decided to sleep on d sofer,dinning chair and somtimes in the library,childrens room,and guest room...when the wife came back she asked the maid if her husband was sleeping fine....and the maid answer d madam....since you left ma,Oga av been sleeping arround ooooo.....the madam fainted straight.....

An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birthcontrol pills.”

Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you’re 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?”

The woman replied, “They help me sleep better.”

The doctor considered this for a second, andcontinued… “How in the world do…

A guy in a hurry used d ladies toilet in a posh hotel.

He sat down& noticed 4 buttons- WW,WA,PP & APR. Curious, he pressed WW & his butt was gently sprayed wit WARM WATER, he loved it so much!

He den pressed WA & a blast of WARM AIR dried him up. Still loving it, he pressed PP & a POWDER PUFF 2make him smell fresh.

Feeling pampered, he decided to press the last button APR...

He later woke up in d hospital, a nurse smiled & said;

Sir, APR means…

Pls read through this converastion …

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.



PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?



GIRL: Well, he kissed me.



PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this? The psychiatrist kissed the girl



GIRL: ......Yes!



PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.



GIRL:But, he put his hand in my top.



PSYCHIATRIST:You…